


How to Be Alive

by Chirps (Linn00)



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Alien!Naegi, Alternate Universe, M/M, Sociopath!Komaeda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-01 17:01:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14525199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linn00/pseuds/Chirps
Summary: As a sociopath, Komaeda tried his very best to integrate into "normal" people, until he met a boy named Naegi, who claimed himself to be one living being from outer space. AU.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, this is my first fic on AO3 for Komaegi. I hope you like it!  
> This is just a prologue, so rating may go up afterwards.  
> Enjoy yourselves!

There he was. A tiny little boy wrapped in dripping clothes and a toothful grin tried his very best to impress his classmates. The Koi between his wet hands was flapping its gills listlessly, which was quite the contrary to its endless flounders all along the way.

Komaeda supposed it was dying.

"Eww, this is disgusting, disgusting as you!"

Someone amidst the crowd shrieked. Loud sobs and cries were filling his ears to a degree which made him dizzy, but he could hear, or more preciously, recognize the burst of acute emotion came from his surroundings. Was it hatred? He saw the definition in a dictionary, and the girl in front of him was sharing exactly the same expression as the exemplary picture. What else? Fear? Yes, when a person widened his eyes like this, it could be nothing else.

And of course, the disgust. The shrieker pointed out himself.

"It was caught just about half an hour ago," Little Komaeda said, giving another try to wipe horrified looks off these faces, "it is fresh enough to..."

"IT IS DYING!"Shouted the boy shrieked early.

"It will eventually die?" Komaeda tilted his head. The slippery mucus were making it extremely hard for him to hold the fish under scales properly. "I mean, you do eat sashimi, right?"

"It's not the same! It's...It's...Do you have a heart?"

"Of course I have a heart, otherwise I will not be able to stand here, breathing." Komaeda replied, and he got quite bored with his classmates' tedious emotional outburst. It was the time to move on.

Not paying any attention to his classmates' uncalled-for anxiety and hostility, Komaeda turned his face to the teacher, who was displaying a mixture of disbelief and, whatever that was, Komaeda did not quite recognize now. Since the stuff Komaeda needed eagerly had nothing to do with this mystery expression, he would not waste another minute to figure it out.

"Madam, I got the fish! Would you please kindly do not cancel our activity together with Kibogamine? I am dying to see these genius and willing to do anything..."

"That was canceled.” Interrupted by the teacher with a determined tone. She lowered her body so that she could face directly to Komaeda, and her eyes seemed to be worried—Komaeda did not understand, why and what was she worrying about?

"No leeway on that, that's it." The teacher's words brought the absurdity to a halt. Seconds later, her voice emerged from receded cries of the children once more.

"Nagito...where did you get the Koi? It is legal, right?" Her tone was almost pleading.

"Legal?" Komaeda repeated, innocently, "Is it related to laws? I thought I was too young to be involved with laws! Am I wrong?"

The fish between his fingers were stiffening. A strange hue of deathlike grey swallowed the remaint of the vitality in its eyes.

It died.

 

 

"Maybe I should figure out the meaning of her face at that time," murmured Komaeda to himself under a tree, "I thought it was irrelevant but I should not let any potential chance slip away. That was so close..."

It was half an hour after the "incident", although Komaeda would not prefer this word at all. Per his teacher's requirement, he did the apologizing stuff to the guards, and the graving and silence for the...fish. Think about that. A Koi, a fish. One kind of animal living in the WATER. Why should he bury something like that?

He did not understand. He always did not understand. Maybe they were right. Those who was pointing at his back, and those who exchanged whispers when he walked away were right.

He is indeed a weirdo, a disgusting one.

"What are you doing here?" Someone interrupted his contemplation. Komaeda averted his sight from the pond, and found one boy about his age smiling warmly towards him. The boy has eyes of celadon, which was quite the same shade as his own.

Komaeda had also noticed the unfit yellow rubber boots and the mismatched gloves on the boy. It was a sunny day. The sun cast a shallow shadow through the translucent umbrella over the boy's tiny face.

"Can I join you?" Asked the boy once more.

Komaeda blinked his eyes.

"Sure, why not." Komaeda said. He sat over a little so that the other boy could sat down besides him. The boy quickly murmured a "thank you" and closed his light yellow umbrella before he found one enough comfortable place to stretch himself.

Both boys were embraced in reticence before the intruder decided to make a move.

“I was....doing some practice when I saw you. You stand here for quite a long time.” The boy said tentatively, “I wonder whether you are in trouble,” He paused before rushing to add, "Mind to chat?"

 “It is called punishment.” Komaeda shrugged. “My teacher asked me to. I accidently killed one fish since we did not have any sick animal for the ultimate vet. ”

“Killed? Wait, yes, your kind do eat fish, but that sounds hurt.” The boy grimaced, then he noticed something. “Called? So you do not think it is a punishment?”

“You mean bury the fish or stand here to reflect? Either hardly counts. Maybe the apologizes? Though I have done so many apologizes in my life that they have already became the major part of my existence. Oh, pardon me for boring you with my silly...emotions,” Komaeda said, changing the subject as he always did, "what are you doing here? I'm Komaeda Nagito."

The boy hesitantly peered at Komaeda. It seemed that he wanted to remark on something, but he decided to refrain from any further prying.

"Komaeda-kun, glad to meet you!" The boy chirped cheerfully, though the happiness soon melt to a strange kind of uneasiness, "I'm...ummm, I'm not sure. You are Komaeda Nagito, so I shall have a name too..."

"You do not know your name?" Asked Komaeda absentmindedly.

"Na...Naegi, Naegi Makoto! That's it! I'm Naegi Makoto, nice to meet you, Komaeda-kun!"

"...Looks like you have just decided your name, whatever, never mind." Komaeda hummed, not really minding the boy’s name was faked or not, “Say, you were doing practice here, right? What kind of practice?”

“Trying to receive my sister’s ‘message’. She always put too many emotions in one pack, and there is quite a long way.” Naegi complained, but he was smiling, “It’s very hard for me to piece together the broken pack, it somehow exploded and left some...sorry! Forget about it, I shall not talk about it!”

Weird. Komaeda cast a glance at Naegi, who plunged himself into sudden panic: a weird child.

Just like him.

“Naegi-kun, how about this?” Komaeda suggested. For the first time in his life, Komaeda enunciated the other boy’s very name. “How about exchanging secrets? I mean, I can tell you why I think ‘it is not a punishment’, while you can tell me the stuffs between you and your sister.”

“I’m not sure...” Said Naegi in a weak voice.

Naegi wavered. It was a good sign.

“To tell you the truth, Naegi-kun,” Komaeda went on, not baffled by Naegi’s hesitation.,“I feel that may be, just may be, I am different from the others.”

“Different? What kind of difference?” Naegi’s attention was soon drawn to Komaeda’s words.

“Remember I told you that I did not think it was a punishment? It is true. For the others, according to my observation, they may feel a kind of emotion named ‘shame’ or ‘regret’ once they were punished. However, for me,” Komaeda said in a matter-of-fact tone, “it’s nothing. I can feel nothing from these punishments or apologizes. I waste some time doing these punishments, and that’s all. I saw it in one book that punishment made the children ashamed, and they would learn from this experience so that similar issues would not occur in future again.”

“But you cannot feel it, which means...”

“Are you able to feel this?” Komaeda asked quietly, ”This feeling belongs to human beings, and I am a weirdo. Well, never mind. Now that you have my secrets., can I have yours? I don’t mind your faked name, but I really...”

“Komaeda-kun,” Naegi interrupted. Indescribable determination was burning in his green eyes. Komaeda could not understand this emotion, but he could feel the fieriness in them. “Do you want to feel it?”

“Feel what?” Komaeda now felt out of place.

“The shame, the regret.” Naegi said, he began taking off these mismatched gloves, “I can’t let you feel these feelings now, as I do not have a reason to be...I can make you feel others.”

“What are you trying to say, Naegi-kun?” Komaeda asked. This time he was really confused.

“I know this feeling. I met others like you before, although they were not on this planet.” Naegi murmured, with his small fingers only inches away from Komaeda’s forehead. “It is painful, is it? To be different.”

Komaeda did not answer this time. His pale eyes were fixing on Naegi’s fingers, the imminent touch.

“Komaeda-kun,” Naegi said softly, “the question is, do you want to feel it? Do you want to change?”

“I...”Komaeda tried to produce some voices with his throat. He merely got some fractured breathing sounds.

This shouldn’t be. He had no reason to be like this. Why was he behaving like this? Was he afraid? No, he never feared. But what was now?

Komaeda could feel the warmth emanated from Naegi’s forefinger.

“May I?” Naegi asked once more, with the tenderness of the whole world rolling over his togue.

Human beings had hearts. Human beings felt regrets. Human beings were ALIVE.

Komaeda nodded his head. The movement was light, but noticeable.

The touch of human being.

Komaeda stared at Naegi, who was leaning in closer and closer. The other boy was nervous too, as Komaeda could detect slight quivers in these fingers.

“I did nothing like this before, so I am not sure...I will try my best to withhold, but as I said...” Naegi breathed. “Please tell me if it hurts you.”

How could a touch hurt—

It was like something knocking on his forehead. His cold blood was heating up via the connection between Naegi and him, to a extent which was almost boiling him up. Emotions, unrecognizable fierce emotions, travelled through hot blood to his brain and his throat, depriving his ability to think or vocalize. With his heart pounding loudly in his chest, he felt frailty, softness, and mostly one kind of foreign sentiment which made him want to care and protect.

He? Komaeda Nagito, care and protect?

Komaeda withdrew. The connection was cut, all emotions were shut down, leaving a breathing Komaeda under Naegi’s strange gaze.

“What was that?”Komaeda managed to ask between his gasps. “That. I have never felt something like that before. This emotion...”

“It is sympathy.” Naegi said. His gaze still held the strangeness. “The sympathy is my feeling.”

“Your feeling?” Komaeda repeated, ”How can I feel...”

“Komaeda-kun, you asked for my secret, did you?” Naegi leaned in once more, but this time he did not initiate any body touch. ”You asked what I am trying to receive from my sister, remember? Well, this is the truth, I was trying to receive emotions from my sister. from outer space.”

“What—”

“Komaeda-kun, you felt it, did you? You felt what I felt. This is what I am. I am a telepathist, the living being from outer place who can read others' emotions and share his own emotions with the others. This is my secret.”

Naegi whispered, staring at a speechless Komaeda.

“I am, in your kinds’ words, an alien.”

 

 

TBC


	2. How to Blink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kazuichi as well as other students are not very friendly towards Komaeda in this chapter, not to the degree of being hostile though. Please understand them as they are not familiar with Komaeda, and the latter is really acting weird and sometimes uncomfortable around them. The relationship between Komaeda and the others will become better in later chapters, I promise.

"...was not there, I wonder..."

It was 30 minutes after the school bell. Warm orange light filtered through opal curtains, gently touching Komaeda's perplexed complexion. The pen in his right hand rustled on papers for a while, before it left another cross adjoining all these scripts.

 "...Staying here does not help, either." Komaeda mused. Collecting his pens and notebook into the satchel, he decided to walk around to try his luck. "I shall buy him a phone next time."

Komaeda was 16 years old now. His ongoing first year in Kibogamine was neither good nor bad, considering his extraordinary devotion towards these talented students as well as his erratic lack of common senses in some area. Naegi told him the latter was not his fault, but, well, who should be blamed then?

Though his incapacity about this part did not even bother him to the slightest degree. Naegi did not know about this.

As for now...time to find the oblivious.

Sliding the satchel on himself, Komaeda quickly made up his mind on his destination. He could have a visit to his elementary school, as he was also able to pass through two parks and one of Naegi's favourite dessert shop on the way. If he still got some time remaining for today after all these, he might be able to take another trip to the skyscraper in downtown. Naegi was prone to show up there.

“Why is me always doing this?! Oh, God damn it...”

Mutters seeped into the classroom. The sounds were muffled, and yet audible enough for Komaeda to halt his steps. He looked up, unsurprisingly noticing the door being pulled open and a certain pink-head grumbler behind it.

“Ah, Kazuichi-kun.” Komaeda said. His words earned him a glare.

“Nanami is going to throw a party in 2 hours, and she asks whether you want to come.” Kazuichi said briefly. He was not glaring at Komaeda any more, but his tone suggested his mood was not anything better, if not worse.

“Wow, it surely honours me! Did you come all this way just to invite me, Kazuichi-kun? You should not deign yourself for someone like me.” Komaeda tilted his head, with his intense gaze locked on the other ultimate student.

If it was not Komaeda’s misconception, Kazuichi stiffened. The latter lowered his head uneasily, making it very difficult for Komaeda to look straightly into his eyes.

“I am just here to send the words, whatever,” Kazuichi shrugged, with a very strange tone. “You can come if you like, though otherwise I won’t be bothered either. I have to go now.”

“Thank you, Kazuichi-kun.” Said Komaeda sincerely, with his eyes still fixing on Kazuichi.

Obviously, said “sincere” could not be perceived by Kazuichi. Lucky for him, at least there was Komaeda believing himself to be “sincere”.

“Come on, Komaeda!” As if being pushed to the edge, Kazuichi nearly shouted, “Hey, is something wrong with me? Just spill it, Komaeda! Stop that God-damning...”

“Yes, I’m all ears.” Komaeda immediately gathered all his attention for the flared person in front of his eyes. Smiling as encourageous as he could, Komaeda did not break his gaze for a blink.

“What the f...whatever.” Kazuichi’s fury suddenly subdued in a way which was quite similar to a leaking balloon. It looked like that he wanted to leave at any second. “You are impossible.“

Komaeda was not interested in the omitted part of Kazuichi’s words at all. Except a certain brunette, he has something else on his mind now.

A party. At Nanami’s dorm, perhaps? Komaeda’s mind began to function: since a nuisance as him could be invited, it was safe to assume that all his classmates would also make appearances in said party, possibly including a mysterious figure which was often spoken highly of by Nanami in these days. Nanami was a talented and determined monitor in his class, and Komaeda admired her for her traits of being hopeful. Someone recommended by her would be nothing less.

It was not saying that he valued his other classmates any less. He admired them, all of them, since unlike him being a useless no-good, they are true genius.

Maybe he should change his plan.

 

It was the girl’s dorm, just as Komaeda’s presumption. The cozy place was carefully decorated, and also a little bit sweaty, since after all it was quite confined for nearly a dozen of noisy teenagers. Komaeda took some time to commend the decoration and the leadership of Nanami, and the latter appreciated his praises occasionally, with her eyes fixing on her game console.

“I got him here, it was not easy, you know.” 

After some of Komaeda’s ebullient eloquence, Koizumi showed up. She whispered in Nanami’s ears, the sudden occurrence of her seized not only Komaeda’s attention, but also Nanami’s interest.

“Thank you! Where is he?” Nanami asked with obvious cheerfulness. The console in her hands was finally put down, and the screen delivered a large “PAUSE” to Komaeda’s calculating eyes.

The warmth in her smile somehow soften Koizumi’s expression. “He said he was nervous, and went to the boy’s room. I think he is going to straighten his tie there.” She noticed Komaeda’s staring and lowered her voice.

Ah. Thus the mysterious Hinata-kun was here.

“Nervous?” Nanami repeated, perhaps not understanding why said teenager would be nervous. Sometimes Komaeda would feel that he and Nanami were the same to some extent. Like him, Nanami got too immersed in her interests which resulted in her lack of communication and her defects at recognizing others’ emotions, but unlike him, she was tender-hearted and understanding. Everybody liked her.

The differences lied here.

“I guess we have to wait? Maybe I can take the time to figure out which game is the best party game for us...”

Nanami’s voice receded to the background as Komaeda took his steps. The main reason for him being here was awaiting in the restroom right now, how could Komaeda decline this invitation? However, it did not mean that he was not enjoying his moments here, quite the contrary, he always enjoyed every moment with his gifted classmates.

It was just that Komaeda was in desperate thirst for witting excellent aptitudes. He could not remember when did it start, maybe some time long before he met Naegi, but that did not matter now, as what he knew at present was that this craving resided in his bones. Ideas of the talented overcoming obstacles gave him shivers down the spine, while sight of bright hope sparkling in the eyes trilled him more than anything else. He would pay anything for a mere glimpse pf these.

For now, his priority was that mysterious Hinata. After all, Komaeda has abandoned the possibility to find Naegi tonight for said person.

“I should not be here. The teachers could have caught me! Calm down, calm down, think....”

Mutters from the toilets gradually became audible as Komaeda approached. The trembling voice revealed that the teenager was about Komaeda’s age, and he was obviously nervous—Koizumi said earlier that Hinata was nervous.

Komaeda halted his breath at the door, listening.

"Okay, cheer up! Staying here does not help. I need to go now, meet Nanami first, and then others...It’s not scary, not at all...maybe. How would they think me? Did Nanami mention me before? Oh, the tie, I almost forgot, straightened now...good. The hair, good. The smile, not so good, but pass for now. The smell, I do not want to stink...how long have I been here?"

“Three minutes since I’ve been here.”

Komaeda’s answer came without invitation. The conception of “unsolicited” did not for now and never before attend his mind, so he pushed the door open and waltzed into the restroom, facing a gaped stranger with his wide smile.

“Ah, hi. I, hmm,“ The teenager said weakly. It seemed that he was not sure what to say.

Komaeda took the chance.

“Hi, I am Komaeda Nagito, you must be Hinata Hajime, aren’t you? Nanami-san mentioned you a lot.” Komaeda offered his hand enthusiastically, not really caring he was in a toilet, instead of a socializing party.

“Ah, yeah, I am Hinata.” Hinata hesitantly took Komaeda’s hands and shook. His nervousness and embarrassment somehow decreased at the mention of Nanami. “Glad to meet you, Komaeda.” 

“The honour is mine.” Komaeda passionately shook Hinata’s hands. He put in too much strength and Hinata was grimacing. “You are a student in Kibogamine, aren’t you? Nanami-san did not mention your grade, but as I had collected all the information of Kibogamine’s current students, I thought you were not from 77th, 76th or 75th?”

“I...umm, no, I am not.” Hinata swallowed.

Komaeda’s rising excitement blinded him to sense the reappearance of Hinata’s nervousness. “Then you ‘will be’ a student in Kibogamine. You must be the one from 78th? Ah, I know it that letters of admission are not dispatched yet, but I have heard that Mr. Kohichi did found someone really good...”

“Umm, Komaeda,” Hinata interrupted, weakly. “Are you going to use the restroom? It is not a ideal place for chitchat, you know. Besides, I wonder that Nanami is waiting for us. Now, if you could pardon me...”

Komaeda ignored Hinata’s words. In fact, he ignored all the external world. Mounting excitement was rushing blood to his head, he could not see or hear clearly, and all he could do was to talk, talk and talk.

“What can you do, Hinata-kun? What is your ultimate title? You are good friend with Nanami-san, aren’t you? Can I assume that you are also very professional at electric games? You might be not as good as Nanami-san, but of course you would be beyond ordinary in this aspect?” The endless questions rolled out from Komaeda’s lips. He stared, like he always did, at Hinata interestingly. The subtle changes of Hinata’s expression finally triggered some reflection from Komaeda’s nerves. “Hinata-kun, you don’t look so well. Are you,”

Komaeda paused, deeming on the proper word.

“Are you sick?”

His words were more likely to be a statement than anything else. Hinata took a step back, uncomfortably avoiding Komaeda’s gaze.

“I...umm...”

“He’s sick since you’re staring the hell out of him.” 

A third voice joined this tiny room. Komaeda looked to the source of this sound, and he found a not-so-happy Kazuichi, for the second time of today at the back of an opening door.

“Ah, Kazuichi-kun, glad to see you once more.” Komaeda’s enthusiasm was not disturbed by the sudden appearance of Kazuichi. “I have just met Hinata-kun, the one that Nanami-san mentioned a lot recently.”

“I know him, he’s the reason why I’m here.” Kazuichi said stiffly, alleviating the impatience in his words as he turned to Hinata. “Come, Hinata, Nanami is worrying about you. She would not let us touch the food unless you show up.”

“Sorry.” Hinata immediately apologized.

“Don’t be so prissy.” Kazuichi’s tone became even better, and he managed a smile on his face. He beckoned Hinata to come, and the latter complied, cautiously peeking at Komaeda as he passed by.

As for Komaeda, he intensively watched the interaction between the teenagers in his opposite. His eyes rested on Hinata before it found itself a better habitat on Kazuichi, and that was when Kazuichi freaked out.

“Please Komaeda, do me a favor,” Kazuichi said fretfully, motioning Hinata to leave this restroom, and he soon joined Hinata before he left Komaeda alone. “Keep your fucking eyes off of me.”

The door was closed.

Silence crept in.

 

“What are you doing here, Komaeda-kun?” Star-spangled sky was replaced by an enlarged warm smile. Komaeda lying on the bare concrete floor blinked, then the realization fell upon him. The smile belonged to someone of whom Komaeda has spent nearly his entire adolescence in painstaking search.

Komaeda sat up.

“Naegi-kun, where had you been?” Komaeda asked immediately, and his question was responded by Naegi’s widened grin.

“That is a long story.” Naegi said mysteriously, as he sat besides Komaeda with ease. Komaeda noticed the yellow rubber gloves were off from Naegi’s hands.

It was late night at the rooftop of the tallest building in downtown. Komaeda sneaked up here after he left that party. He did not say goodbye to Nanami or anyone else, although he was tempted to say something to Hinata, or in other words, to obtain more words from Hinata.

“But I will save it for now.” Naegi went on. His expression now was different from the former pleasant one, and Komaeda remembered that Naegi told him about this before: it was worry. “You don’t look very happy, what’s wrong, Komaeda-kun?”

“Are you using that telepathy again?” Komaeda asked. His tone was not accusing, just out of interest.

“Without body touches I’m unable to do that to human beings, even to Komaeda-kun.” Naegi shrugged. “I recognized the look on your face.”

“I believed that you could not distinguish that before?”

“I learned, and this was recorded in my ‘long story’.” Naegi said, joyfully showing his bared hands to Komaeda, “Look, finally I took off my gloves! I will tell you this later. Oh, even if I did not learn how to control my ability and were wearing my gloves now, I think I’m still able to recognize your face. You are my friend, Komaeda-kun, I have known you for so many years!”

“...” Komaeda opened his mouth, and he heard himself saying, ”The times we met can be counted on two hands.”

“Oh.” Naegi said. He was not disappointed, but his tone was more cautious now, “I have works to do, so I cannot not stay here for very long, but we are friends, aren’t we?”

“I’m not complaining, I know you have works to do.” Said Komaeda. He opted not to comment on the latter part.

Naegi breathed a sigh of relief and smiled, with his fluffy head slightly swaying in the cool air of midnight.

Out of nowhere Komaeda suddenly felt a thread of relief as well, mingling in the mess of his brain. He looked at Naegi, whose green eyes were illuminated by star light.

“So, Komaeda-kun, what is bothering you?” Naegi said softly, “Anything I can do to help?”

No, it was nothing.

The first thing came to Komaeda’s mind was such an idea. Not that he wanted to hide things from Naegi, but that he was not sure of the reasons for his discomfort. How could he asked Naegi for help if he did not know what was bothering him on his own?

Perhaps for that the night was tender, and that the atmosphere surrounding Naegi was always composing, Komaeda confided something else.

“I don’t know.” Komaeda admitted, “Maybe something in the party, maybe something concerning my classmates’ attitudes. Though they had done nothing wrong. I really don’t know.”

“You had a party?” Naegi asked, curiously.

“Yeah, Nanami held one for all the classmates, and I left it.” Komaeda shrugged.

“Because?” Naegi continued tentatively, “That is why you are feeling upset?”

“Am I feeling upset?” Komaeda repeated instead of answering, “Is this upset?”

“...I thought you were?” The certitude in Naegi’s words was somehow weakened by Komaeda’s question. “You are not?”

“Why don’t you read it yourself? I’m not good at emotions, even for myself, you know that.” Komaeda said straightforwardly. He grabbed Naegi’s hand, feeling the warmth between the other’s finger spread through their connection. “Use your telepathy.”

Nothing happened.

No emotion threads, no unfamiliar sentiments, nothing at all except the corporeal warmth beneath his palm. It was like that the door was shut down, and he could not feel anything from Naegi.

“I told you that I learned.” Naegi sighed. He tried to withdraw his hand from Komaeda’s squeeze, but to no avail. “I can control it now, this is why I don’t need the gloves.”

“Then restart it.” Komaeda would not let Naegi go. His eyes were firmly fixed on the brunette. “If you can shut it down, surely you are able to restart it?”

“Yes, I can do that, but that is not your problem.” Naegi sighed once more. The tone of patience never left his voice. “I don’t think my constant probing into your head is a good idea.” 

“Not my head, just emotions.”

“It’s the same.” Naegi did not try to withdraw his hand this time, instead he used his other hand to pat Komaeda’s tensed back of hand. “Can we talk, Komaeda-kun? I cannot help unless you tell me what happened.”

His efforts had borne fruits, as Komaeda finally loosed his hands.

“Can we do the telepathy later?” Komaeda asked once more, not willing to give up. It was a temporary compromise. “I like that, and I will tell you what happened.”

Naegi’s face showed that he was not about to agree on this part, but Komaeda was quicker.

“I went to the party, met someone called Hinata, who is recently often mentioned by Nanami-san,” Komaeda started, not waiting for Naegi’s consent. “had some words with him, then Kazuichi-kun showed up angrily. Hinata-kun went off with him and I left the party. That’s all.”

“Wait? That’s all?”

“Yes, I have concluded all the important points.” Komaeda’s face was innocent. ”Do you want me to elaborate? That is not a problem. It all started when I was in the classroom. As the weather was good and nobody lingered after the bell, I decided that I could be one lingered to maximize classroom’s worth. I originally intended to spend tonight searching for you, so I made some plans: the first one was...”

“That’s too much elaborated, Komaeda-kun.” Naegi said helplessly.

“Is that so? Apologizes for my verbosity. Shall I skip this part? Let’s go directly to...Naegi-kun, which part would you like me to elaborate?”

“Umm, the Kazuichi-kun part?” Naegi tilted his head. “You said he was angry?”

“Actually I met him twice today.”

“Which one rubbed him up?”

“I’m not sure, but I am certain that his mood was not anything near exhilaration both times.” 

Naegi chuckled, shaking his head. “Just tell me what did he say before he left, I mean the last time.”

“Sure. It’s...oh, this one. ’Please Komaeda, do me a favor,’” Komaeda recalled, trying his best to imitate the fretfulness in Kazuichi a few hours ago. “’Keep your fucking eyes off of me.’”

Naegi gaped, not answering this time. His face caught Komaeda’s eyes, which were fixing on Naegi himself with interest. After several seconds of reticence, Komaeda broke this quietness.

“Are you sick, Naegi-kun?”

This was exactly the same question which Komaeda had asked Kazuichi earlier today.

“I should realize this earlier. God, I’m so slow.” It seemed that Naegi’s brain began to function, and he buried himself with mutters of regrets.

The focus of Komaeda’s attention got distracted once more, as always.

“God?” Komaeda repeated, ”Do aliens believe in God?”

“I’m trying to integrate, that is not...” Naegi stopped, sighing. “Please Komaeda-kun, do not digress. I got your problem. Come on, get closer.”

Naegi did not elaborate further. Eyeing Naegi with a strangle gaze, Komaeda complied. Wind on the rooftop wafted both boys a faint scent of flora odor, and this pleasant sensation somehow refueled Komaeda’s nearly exhausted patience.

Not was a breath sound shared in this tranquility. Saturated in the mist of starlight, Naegi’s eyes seemed to be shimmer slightly.

Komaeda liked this shimmer. He favored the view of glimmers, glints, glistens and glows. All the shinny stuff were his favourite.

“Komaeda-kun,” Naegi breathed, as he leaned in slowly, “Can you feel it now?”

Feel what? Komaeda wanted to ask, yet he did not roll it out from his lips. Captured by a strangle sensation, he was too occupied with it in his dizzy mind.

“The anger, the fret.”

The distance could not be shortened any more. Naegi’s whispers were puffed onto Komaeda’s nose. Featherlike dampness and a fleeting moment of warmth kissed the tip of his nose before they were gone like they never existed.

“What are you talking about, Naegi-kun?” Komaeda mouthed.

“You don’t understand...Of course you don’t understand,” Naegi muttered, “don’t worry, blink, just blink. Now.”

Komaeda blinked before he resumed his intensive gaze.

“Are you feeling better?” Naegi asked with concerns, “Since you are unable to feel others’ feelings, I think it’s best for you to experience it, that being constantly stared...”

“Stare?” Komaeda repeated, then the scales fell from his eyes finally. “Oh, you mean the stare. Kazuichi-kun talked about that. You were staring at me.”

“You didn’t realize that just now? You seemed uncomfortable, and I thought your uneasiness was caused by my stare... ”

“...I thought it was something else. No, not your stare, I even did not realize you are staring at me on purpose.” The giddiness slowly faded out, and Komaeda began to get his breath again. “I don’t understand, why would I be angry or fret under your gaze?”

“Blink, Komaeda-kun, blink,. Now.” Naegi said softly. After Komaeda’s several blinks, he continued, “i did not realize it since I’m too familiar with you and sometimes I’m not so good at ‘naturally’ imitating reactions of human beings. You stared at people unconsciously all the time, and people don’t like it, they feel that they’re being preyed, threatened, and...Blink. Blink, Komaeda-kun,”

Komaeda blinked.

“When your friend gets nervous, and the ‘blink’ trick does not work, you may just look away for a while.”

“When can I look back?” Komaeda asked, “and why would my classmates feel being threatened under my stare? I mean no harm, I admire their talents sincerely. Shall I smile more? Maybe I should pick some books from the library?”

“No, Komaeda-kun, just blinks for now,” Naegi said, shaking his head, “and it’s time for you to go to bed.”

“I cannot...”

“Sh, try it tomorrow with your classmates and come back to me, alright? I will wait here tomorrow night.”

Komaeda moved his lips, but found himself no protests concerning the last point.

“Okay.” Komaeda said, unwillingly.

Before Naegi had transformed his umbrella into that little yellow car, the warmed mental piece in Komaeda’s trousers pockets reminded Komaeda the idea which came to him at nightfall. Without any hesitation, Komaeda took out this little metal piece, and patted on the shoulder of a busy Naegi.

“One moment, Komaeda-kun,” Naegi said, not looking up, “I got stuck with the...”

“Take it.” Komaeda were unaffected. The phone between his fingers glinted in darkness. “I just want to know when you can come back here. It does not matter how long it takes you to come back, be it one year, three years, or ten years, as long as you still want to come back here.”

Naegi paused, looking at Komaeda with a pair of eyes in which Komaeda could not really tell what kind of emotion was flowing.

Or emotions?

Without any assents or dissents, Komaeda quickly slipped the phone into Naegi’s pocket.

“We’re friends, aren’t we?”

His inquiry was more likely to be a declarative rather than a interrogative.

 

TBC


End file.
